To Be Seen
To be seen and to feel alive
And to walk and still feel like a rock
To be the thunder lights that eyes misses
And to be the shooting star that people lose
for their wishes
Just to ask something they themselves needed
And to be the words in a decent way
And to be written like a poem
To be the story not the plot
And To be asked and to be seen
To be loved like a rose that still has thorns
Not to make others bleed but that’s what always been done
I am a being and I have dreams
But I am a moth too because there are butterflies
I am alive therefore I feel pain
But I am a human they’re worthless anyways?
Is it a sin to live or it’s sin to be a human?
To feel alive only around the dead?
To feel happy only around sadness?
To feel lost only in the darkness?
To feel life only around death?
To be seen and to feel alive
Why is to live even strive?
The Words I Crave For
The words I crave for
The moments I want to live
There’s nowhere I can belong
Nor have I belonged
I question my own existence
The people I call my own
They dream of others
All of them are someone’s dream
And I am a nightmare to myself
I decline all happiness
And all the lights myself
Then again question myself
Why am I in the darkness?
For how long will it keep going?
And when will I accept things?
Each second a regret takes birth
My heart almost loses it’s will
Never had I any of it anyways
There are some words I crave to hear
Not from a lover, not from a friend
Not from a family, not from a teacher
From the stranger that lies within them
From the creator that created me
My sister wrote me in a letter
“I’m so proud of you”
and it made sense because I felt better
But not the conversations I don’t wanna be in
There are some things I crave to see
They always have been a dream
A thought and a will,
But that I crave for them is a big thing
Because no matter how hard I try
I know that I had given up long ago
But still something within me
wants to be praised for the few
Good things I do,
For the good interactions I made
But at the end
It’s all just what I crave for
But it’s never what I wanted
but always a reference to something good
Never the good I wanted itself
I also wanted to know I am alive
And to live isn’t always success
Things may turn bad
Just so I know I exist
I start to do bad things
So atleast I get scolded
and know that yeah! I’m a living being
And the words I crave for
Some smiles I wanna create
There’s nowhere I can belong
Nor have I belonged.
To Be Forgotten
Pain will always remain, like a shadow with no escape
We learn to live with it, for there’s no other way.
This nature is all strained and dark, like a quite ache
To live is something, to be remembered, more
but none care for you, like you do in your knowing.
Born alone, we die alone, craving for love in vain.
I wanted to be so much, so much more
but for now, the heart yearns for solitude.
In the mountains, with books, coffee and sweets,
with a quiet lake, no voices to disturb
My sins will always be whispered in others ears
for once, I’d like to be forgotten
not loved, nor remembered, nor cared for.
Alone, I’d find peace, untouched by others needs
No one would know me nor would I
to be forgotten and forget
but then I wonder is it the world I wish to forget,
or the life I’ve lived?
